30 weeks

So... not a lot to report this week. Things are ticking along just as they should. I had an OB appointment on friday. There were some questions over one of the results in my full blood count (abnormally high platelet levels apparently). But after a bit of stuffing around, and a second blood test the doctor called later that afternoon to report that everything was 'very very normal'.

Baby has been moving really well lately too. He's not able to do the really fast flickers and jabs, but when he does roll and push it's so strong. He seems to spend most of my waking hours stretched out as far as he can in there, pushing up under my ribs - then come bed time he tucks himself way down low in my pelvis. Very odd. But kind of cute! (almost like he's preparing for being rolled on in the night!).

I'm always so curious to know how big he might be at each stage - and found this really amazing photo through a google search of a bub born at 30wks (he was one of sextuplets though - so maybe slightly smaller than a single-baby at 30wks), but still, that's so cool. Apparently babies at 30weeks gestation have over a 98% chance of survival - which is such a dramatic improvement based on the odds for babies born just a few weeks earlier than this.

We definitely don't intend on having this little dude come out just yet though!

A big brother in waiting

I purchased this maternity top months ago when my belly first started making it uncomfortable to fit into my regular clothes. Then I forgot I had it in my cupboard! Re-found it, and discovered that it fits quite well now... in fact if that belly gets too much bigger it may not fit at all! lol

We're now 29wks, and fast approaching the '30s'. I've been continuing to monitor my blood pressure at home, and it is consistently in the normal range - which is awesome. Means my body is handling this pregnancy better then it did with my son 3yrs ago. I have the OB check up next week, so we'll get the blood test and glucose challenge test results then.

Baby has been reasonably active again over the last few days after his little quieter period. I am wondering though if he's flipped back into breach position though. I am pretty hopeless at being able to tell what bits are what though - I just know I can feel something very solid in my belly that pushes back when I press on him! I'm getting a lot of quite painful jabs and knocks to my pelvis/bladder again though, so I'm assuming that means he's got his feet down there and I think it might be his head just near my belly button that I can feel as the 'hardness'. (Hubby tells me I shouldn't poke the baby there because I might poke him in the eye! I reply that there is a decent layer of fat, muscle, uterus and fluid between my hands and the baby, and that I think he'll be fine - they're more forceful when they do a bloody ultrasound!!)

It's crazy to look at this little diagram and see how far baby has come. From those first few weeks following the embyro transfer when he was too tiny to even detect on a scan... to now being a full formed, just slightly too small human being. There's a part of me that wants to will the next 10weeks away so that I can hand the baby over to his parents and have my body back. But then there's a part of me that knows how magical this last stage of pregnancy is, and how soon it will be over, and doesn't want the time to pass by too quickly.

I went into this surrogacy journey wanting to help a family out, but also wanting to experience a pregnancy again - and this baby has not disappointed. There's just so many questions I want answered now like any expectant woman would... how long is labour going to be? What will the baby look like? How big will he be? When will I go into labour? And of course the questions more specific to this situation... what will the days and weeks following delivery be like for me? Will I get that hormonal surge that all the baby books talk about and become a weeping mess!? Will I be in pain for a long time after birth without the distraction of a new baby to care for? Will I recover more quickly not having to get up for night feeds? Will I feel weird catching up with the babies family those first few times after we leave the hospital? Or will it feel like the most natural thing?

I am genuinely curious as to how all of these situations will play out, and what my reactions will be.

We caught up with IM, her mum and her little boy during the week (- Babies mum, grandma and big brother). My mum, little sister and grandma were able to meet them as well - which I think was a very important step. It upgrades the 'concept' of a family for the baby in my tummy to actual people. We had a lovely lunch at the same place we'd met for our very first meeting back at the very start of this surrogacy process. It was quite poetic to reflect on all that had happened/changed over the year, and how much IM's little boy had grown and matured.

He sat opposite me at lunch and kept looking over at me and saying 'baby'. He made it quite clear that even though he's only just turned 2yrs old, he knows what's going on, and that the big bump under my shirt contained a baby for him. I was genuinely surprised by how well he grasped the concept and got a bit teary while holding him and talking about his little brother coming (but had to contain myself as photos were being taken!)

It blows my mind to think about how much his little world is going to chance in just a few short weeks. He'll never remember a time when it was just him. It'll always be him and his little brother. Out to conquer the world!

28 week belly progress pic

So... we're 28wks today. Twenty-Eight-Weeks! I was feeling quite frumpy today. My blue-flower dress has been worn so many times now the elastic is starting to go around the neckline and I kind of feel like a walking floral blimp when wearing it! But it is good for getting these progress shots.

I'm now back to the weight I was at embyro transfer, after loosing a few kgs during those weeks of morning sickness. I had hoped to NOT put on any weight this pregnancy because I really don't need to... but with a constant craving for orange juice and milky chai lattes... it's not really a surprise!

Had to do the glucose tolerance test this morning (fast for 12hrs, go to the blood collection centre, get some bloods taken, drink a bottle of super sweet flavourless liquid. Sit there for an hour. Have more blood taken. Sit for another hour. Have yet more blood taken. Then go home. Lots of fun!). This test will let us know if I've developed gestational diabetes, and the bloods look at my iron levels and other relevant things my GP decided to check out! He wants me to see the OB at the hospital next fortnight as my blood pressure was a little high at his appointment (despite being a perfect 125/70 at the hospital check up last week), so we'll see what happens from there.

These are the last 3 belly-progress photos for compariosn.

Baby Goo

I was attempting to get to sleep last night, when out of no where I suddenly remember that in order to get this baby boy OUT of me - I'm going to have to give birth!

I honestly think I'd managed to shut down that part of the process in my mind since my last post about birth anxieties back at the start of the pregnancy. Up until this point I think my attitude had become a little like 'oh, the birth is AGES away still, nothing to stress about yet'. But - if I do deliver a little earlier than the due date (as all of my dreams have been telling me I will), labour might only be another 8 weeks away.

Which is REALLY SOON! lol

So, after a little quiet freak out in bed, stressing about not remembering what I'll need to pack in a hospital bag, what I'll wear for delivery (I don't think I'll be going naked this time! lol), how I'll cope with possibly doing contractions in the car on the way to hospital (something I've never had to do before!), what would happen if baby comes even faster then my son's 3.5-4hr labour, what if we don't get to hospital in time, what if I get baby-goo all through the IPs car, what if I bleed after delivery again and we're not at the hospital....

You know, just your basic labour-freak out thoughts.

So I got up. Got a drink of water and peed for the 100th time that day. Put the aircon on, and went back to bed determined NOT to think about birth right then. Which surprisingly worked. But I resoloved to start looking into what I'll need for a hospital bag today. I think physically doing something constructive like that will help.

I'm actually surprised at myself that the 'hospital bag' has become such a huge focus. I didn't even think about it with my first until I was about 37wks pregnant. And with my second I don't even remember packing one... but I must have! Maybe it was because the focus was on what I'd need for the baby the last two times, whereas this time I'm only packing for myself?

Or maybe it's just less confronting to focus on the hospital bag rather then the impending pain and uncertainty of delivery?

It may also be in part due to the fact that I made a quick visit to the birth suites earlier this week after noticing that baby hadn't been moving as much as usual. While waiting for the midwives to come and take me through for monitoring, another young couple were also waiting and she was most definitely in early labour. There really is nothing quite as confronting as watching someone else experience the same pain that you too will be feeling in a matter of weeks/months.

(They checked baby and he was perfect. They think that he may have finally moved position to be laying head down, bum up now, which is why the patterns of movement have changed. I'm definitely not getting the same 'storms' of kicking that I was previously, but he's still letting me know he's there!).

So, I don't really have any resolutions for this post. Mainly because there can't be any just yet. But I am going to have to start preparing myself psychologically for this birth rather then pushing it aside. It is going to hurt. It will be messy. But I know my body can do it.

And in parting I will leave you with a quote from one of my hubby's favourites movies... 'oh yes, there will be blood!'.